I’m getting a divorce, not robbing a bank.

I didn’t break any laws.
I am not a criminal.
I’m getting a divorce.
Stop thinking it makes me less of a person. Or better yet, less of a GOOD person.

Am I being defensive?
Absolutely. 

It took me a long time – 6+ years – of contemplating, discussing, therapy, crying, and agonizing over this decision. It is not one I made lightly. As it shouldn’t be.

But it also doesn’t mean I gave up. I worked my ass off. I had hope for it to work out. I tried. Multiple times (5, actually) we said it would be a fresh start and things would change. But things didn’t change. I didn’t become happy.

It took many years and many therapy sessions (with friends and professionals) for me to realize that I deserve to be happy. Everyone deserves to be happy. Even if they have to go the unconventional route.

I’m still a good person. I’m still a good mother. Hell, I like to think I’m still a good partner. I just happened to marry someone that was not for me.

The gasps, apologetic nods, and “oh no, I’m so sorry’ comments, are appreciated when you’re referring to the pain and turmoil that myself, my STBX, and my kids are going through. If you’re doing it because when you hear the word “divorce” you automatically think of failure – please think again. While my marriage did not last – it is not a failure. First and foremost, we have 3 of the most amazing children out of that marriage. I have many memories of starting a family and growing up from that marriage. I have learned many life lessons and grew exponentially as a person from that marriage.

My marriage didn’t fail. We didn’t fail. Come back to read some of my future posts – you’ll see how we are doing much better after the separation than we were doing while married.