I had my life figured out… then life happened!

You know when you’re 17 or 18 years old or even early 20’s and you have your whole life figured out? Your goals are lavish, but how you’ll get there is pending time, growth, a plan, and of course, money.

When I was 18, I went to school for communications and public relations. I was going to work for a big PR firm in Manhattan and live in a lavish apartment, much like Monica and Rachel. I was going to immerse myself in the NY lifestyle. Life was going to be exciting, busy, and PERFECT!

I graduated college in 2005. I worked a couple of random marketing jobs, but nothing concrete and certainly nothing in NY. It was 2005. The economy was ROUGH. Especially for a recent college grad. But I still had hope.

I had been with my boyfriend at the time for 4.5 years and we had big plans. We were going to get married, have kids (we had names picked out!), and live happily ever after. Until I found out he had been cheating on me… a lot. With a variety of women. Plans …. vanished

Fast forward a few years, skip over a few mistakes, and we’re here. 2019. 10 years after I got married… and now look where I am going. My career is different than I planned. I have never lived in NY. There was a time I didn’t want any kids… I now have 3. And, I’m heading toward a divorce. It wasn’t something I planned (obviously). And looking back on my 18 year old self I certainly would have changed some things. But hindsight is 20/20. And irrelevant. It won’t change anything. When really questioned (which a friend did) I don’t know if I would actually change anything. Maybe saved more money…. took out less student loans… didn’t let my stepson go swimming that day (another depressing story for another day).

But I can’t change it. Neither can you. Stop looking behind you. This is when I’m reminded of a quote from one of my favorite movies.
“It’s times like this my buddy Timon here says: you got to put your behind in your past.” – Pumbaa

oh… wait… not that one.

“Oh yes, the past can hurt. But from the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it.” – Rafiki

It took a long time, many years, untold mistakes, a multitude of self-help articles and books for me to be ok with life not turning out the way I anticipated. It was time for me to let go of the life I planned, so I can accept the one I’m meant to have.

You should try it too. It’s freeing and exciting.

But I can’t help but wonder what’s next! … and maybe even start planning for it.