Hardest Decision Ever?

What is the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make? The one you spent hours/days/weeks/months contemplating. The one that left you feeling stressed, worried, scared, anxious, nervous, and freaked the f*** out.

Mine?

Whether or not to get a divorce.

I’m willing to bet my savings… (ok, about $5 of my savings – I have kids to feed)… that if you’re divorced that was the hardest decision for you as well.

Was I happy? No.
Was I in love? No.
Were things changing or getting better? No.
Was counseling helping? No.
Do I want a divorce? I dunno.

In one of my counseling sessions, my therapist told me that many people are unhappy and contemplating divorce for 5-6 years before they decide to do it. It was over 6 years for me when I told my husband that I wanted a separation. I fit that statistic. Uh — yay? While it did give me reassurance that I’m not crazy, it didn’t help make the decision easier.

There’s a misconception that people who get divorced “gave up” or “forgot their vows” or “are only thinking about themselves” or blah blah blah. I can tell you that is the furthest from the truth. Sometimes people fall out of love. Somethings life happens (like the death of a child) and people change. Sometimes we must admit that life didn’t turn out the way that we hoped or envisioned and changing the course does not mean we failed.

It took 6 years and making the hardest decision of my life to decide that.